All posts by Admin

8 Steps to Increase Your Productivity and Income

 

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Zig Ziglar said “Money isn’t everything , but it’s right up there with oxygen.” The topic of wealth, income, and making money is often discussed and viewed in a negative light. Our society is afraid of being labeled as greedy or money hungry, but what must be understood is that money is a crucial part of freedom. I personally know what it’s like to have nothing, to stress about paying my next bill, and to feel hopeless. I also know what it’s like to thrive, and I’ve been fortunate enough to create some great income as well. Having money is a lot more enjoyable and fulfilling, but most importantly it gives you options.

Have you ever heard anybody say any of these?

“Money is the root of all evil.”

“Rich people are greedy.”

“Money won’t make you happy.”

“You don’t want to be one of those people.”

“I don’t need money.”

It’s usually those who claim they don’t care about money that are broke. Why not get wealthy? Why not become a millionaire? Why not focus on making as much money as you can? As entrepreneurs, I know you have goals of increasing your income. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, so those thriving financially must be doing something different, right? Better yet, they must have a better perspective about money and how it’s earned?

Let me give you eight very tactical and straightforward tips that can be used right away to catapult your income.

1. Stop doing what you’re doing. We all know the saying “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a difference result.” If you aren’t satisfied, the first thing you must do is stop doing what you’ve been doing because what you are doing is what is creating your dissatisfying, current reality.

What’s great about life is the opportunity to completely change your story and direction overnight. Regardless of your past decisions, you’re always one decision away from making the right one.

2. Don’t let money define you. Your self worth has nothing to do with your finances. Whether you have a negative bank account or $5 million in the bank, your confidence must never waiver. If anything, your confidence needs to increase when you are stressed so you are motivated you to never feel that stress again.

Being wealthy is a state of mind, but so is being broke. You are what defines you, not what you possess.

3. Start prioritizing your profits. When you set up your weekly schedule make sure you start with income producing activities. Of all your activities, 20 percent will account for 80 percent of your income. Figure out what those are. Really think about the the top two or three things you need to do to create income. Now put those in your schedule consistently to assure you are creating income.

Constantly ask yourself if what you’re doing is profitable. Focus on doing what you should versus what you feel. Never forget that impact drives income.

4. Start placing a higher value on your time. Time is more valuable than money. You can always get more money, but you can never get more time. It is possible to become twice as valuable, and make twice as much money in the same amount of time. There is nothing more valuable than time invested wisely. We all have the same 24 hours, and it’s what you do with them that determines everything.

5. It’s Ok to say no. Steve Jobs once said, “It’s what Apple said “no” to that ultimately made them successful.”

If you’re over-extending yourself and committing to too many things, this word will change your life. Say “no” to everything that doesn’t create income for you until you get your income to a place you feel confident and secure. Make a commitment to yourself that you will focus on income-producing activities versus tension-relieving activities.

6. Proximity is power. Most broke people hang with other broke people and they usually stay broke, together. Elevate your peer group by reaching out to those playing the game of life at a higher level than you.

Find those people because you’ll become a lot like the people you spend the most time with. Their belief systems, their ways of being and their attitudes are contagious. You’re either surrounding yourself with those who hold you accountable, or let you off the hook. Choose wisely.

7. Lower your excuses. As the excuses go up, the bank account goes down. The best excuse makers or “validators” have the smallest bank accounts. The energy and time you spend on creative excuses is better invested in thinking of actual solutions that move your life forward. Excuses are a disease and those who continue making them will continue to have money issues.

8. Shift your focus from victim to leader. Stop blaming the economy, stop blaming your past, stop blaming your boss or company, and stop thinking the world is out to get you. Charge more, switch jobs, become more valuable. My friend Hal Elrod says, “The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life, is the moment you can change anything in your life.”

The difference between ordinary income and extraordinary income is fast implementation. How quick will you get on your grind to start increasing your income? I assure you if you take these tips seriously, and want it bad enough you will create an income explosion the next couple months. I want you to realize that your bank account isn’t who you are, it’s who you were before you made the decision to focus on wealth.

Originally posted on www.entrepreneur.com

 

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The Silent Killer Of Relationships

BY DEREK HARVEY

Just after my wife and I got married, we attended a seminar on aiding the rehabilitation of human trafficking victims, particularly those trafficked for sex. (I won’t get into all that…that’s another story for another day.) In one of the presenter’s talks, he asked the audience what the biggest cause of divorce was. Since I had just been through premarital counseling, I pretty much felt like an expert at marriage. I shot my hand up quickly to answer the question, and blurted out, “Sex, money and communication!” …then looked at my wife next to me and grinned. Too easy.

“Wrong,” the presenter barked back. “Those are symptoms of the real problem.”

Ouch. Embarrassed much?

Not only was I given a sharp lesson in humility, but what followed changed my life. I was about to be told the best piece of marriage advice that this young, prideful, newly married man-boy could’ve ever asked for.

He continued…

“The reason marriages end in divorce is because of one thing…unmet expectations.”

*mind blown*

My newly married man-boy brain couldn’t handle the revelation. I don’t remember much of what was said after that. I was too busy thinking of all the unmet expectations I was already experiencing after being married a month.

Since that seminar six years ago, I have seen the pain and frustration that plays out from having unmet expectations, not just in marriage, but in all relationships. It’s a deadly venom that flows to the heart and wreaks havoc in relationships.

But having unmet expectations isn’t just a marriage problem. It’s a life problem.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re single, married, working, unemployed, old, young or [insert demographic here]. Having unmet expectations is lethal to everyone. No one is immune.

So…what’s the solution?

I’m a math guy. I ‘heart’ equations. I love crunching numbers and thoroughly enjoyed algebra and calculus in high school (although I probably couldn’t do a calculus problem to save my life now). So I came across an equation.

EXPECTATION – OBSERVATION = FRUSTRATION

Here’s what that means. Below are two hypothetical situations played out…

EXPECTATION

When I come home from a long day at work, I EXPECT my wife to have dinner prepared and ready for us to sit down and eat as a family. She’ll be wearing an apron with no food stains on it (because she’s perfect like that) and her hair will be perfectly done up. Meanwhile, my 16-month old daughter will sit in her high chair and eat with utensils…never missing her mouth, which makes cleanup a breeze. After we all finish eating at exactly the same time, we’ll head out into the Colorado sun and go for a nice family stroll, while the butler (you read that right…BUTLER son) cleans up the kitchen and prepares our home for evening activities.

OBSERVATION

I come home from work thirty minutes late, and dinner hasn’t even been thought of…much less started. Because of this, my toddler is screaming her head off, signing “MORE! PLEASE! EAT!” When I search for my wife, I find her working on a design project trying to meet a deadline that’s technically already past due. When I ask what’s for dinner, she glares at me the way only an overworked, overtired work-from-home-momma can glare (it can scald your pupils…so the legend goes). After picking up my toddler, I make my way into the kitchen to find an abundance of NO GROCERIES. So, being the manly chef that I am, I set my eyes on cheese and bread. “Grilled cheese!” I exclaim. I put my daughter in her high chair as an influx of rage bursts from within her. I quickly grab the apple sauce pouch to appease her. It works…for now. I get to work on my grilled cheese sandwiches. Everyone eats. The kitchen is left a mess. Toys are scattered throughout the living room just waiting to break someone’s ankle. My wife and I collapse on the couch, avoiding eye contact and avoiding volunteering to clean the kitchen. I could keep going but…you get the picture.

FRUSTRATION = The difference between the two.

Quite an elaborate illustration, I know. But I’m trying to paint the picture of what our expectations can be like versus what life is actually like…what we observe. (DISCLAIMER: In no way was that illustration indicative of my actual life. It’s either not true at all, or highly exaggerated…or spot on. The jury’s still out.)

Antonio Banderas says it best,

“Expectation is the mother of all frustration.”

The fact of the matter is this: In life, we often have expectations that go unmet, and we’re often frustrated because of it.

But we don’t HAVE to be.

Read the complete story here.

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Think Like A Champ

olympic winner
BY JON GORDON

I meet and learn from champions every day. Not just in locker rooms but also in classrooms, hospitals, homeless shelters, homes and office buildings.

I’ve learnt that to be a champion you must think like a champion. Champions think differently from everyone else. Here’s how:

THEY EXPECT TO WIN

When they walk on the court, on the field, into a meeting or in a classroom, they expect to win. In fact, theya are surprised when they don’t win.
They expect success and their positive beliefs often lead to positive actions and outcomes. They win in their mind first and then they win in the hearts and mins of their customers, students or fans.

THEY CELEBRATE SMALL WINS

By celebrating the small wins, champtions gain the confidence to go after big wins. Big wins and big successes happen through the accumulation of manysmall victories.
This doesn’t mean champions become complacent. Rather, with the right kind of celebratio and reinforcement, champions work harder,practise more and belive they can do greater things.

THEY DON’T MAKE EXCUSES
They don’t focus on the faults of others. They focus on what they can do better.
They see their mistakes and defeats as opportunities for growth. As a result, they become stronger, wiser and better.

THEY ARE COMMITTED
They see their life and work as a gift. They know that if they want to achieve a certain outcome, they must commit to and appreciate the process.
They may not love every minute of their journey but their attitude and will helps hem develop their skill.

THEY STAY POSITIVE
Their faith is greater than their fear. Their positive energy is greater than the chorus of negativity. Their certainty is greater than all the doubt. Their passion and purpose are greater than their challenges. Despite their situation, champions believe their best days are ahead of them, not behind them.

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Why Chores are Important for Your Children

Image source: www.familycorner.com

If you have children, you know the deep, abiding bond that develops between parents and kids. Because you love them, you want them to be happy. A parenting conundrum that often arises in light of this is whether to assign jobs around the house to your kids.

Most child and family experts believe that requiring your children to do chores is beneficial to both of you, as long as tasks are age-appropriate and not too physically challenging.


How are chores beneficial to your kids?

Top 10 Benefits of Chores:

1. Facilitate physical development. Having chores from a young age helps to develop gross and fine motor skills and coordination.

2. Provide learning experiences. Kids learn something when they perform household tasks. Whether it’s why the chore needs to be done or how it’s carried out, knowledge will be gained and retained.

Image source: www.families.com
Image source: www.families.com

3. Help kids feel they belong. Chores help kids feel like an important part of the family. It’s especially helpful when you and your other family members take notice and positively comment when children complete their tasks.




4. Keep kids busy and out of trouble. There’s some truth to the idea that when kids are doing a household task, you know they’re engaged in a positive behavior that could benefit them in the future.

Image source: www.thebrunettediaries.com
Image source: www.thebrunettediaries.com

5. Kids contribute to the home. Doing chores provides kids with ways to contribute to the household. As children feel like they’re contributing in some way, they begin to develop and build pride. “I can dust the tables all by myself” is a powerful message for a 7-year-old.

6. Build self-esteem. Consistently giving chores to kids builds their sense of their own abilities. After all, think of all the things they’ve learned how to do over the years.

• From cleaning up after themselves to making their beds and sweeping the floors, chores assigned by parents greatly contribute to children’s positive self-esteem.

7. Demonstrate the importance of taking care of personal items and one’s home. The best way to show a child how important it is to take care of his own property and the house is to assign him chores. This way, your child observes and experiences how life is lived and discovers first-hand the necessities of doing certain chores.




8. Teach kids responsibility. When a child is solely responsible for a job getting done in the home, he learns to take responsibility for that task. As they mature, children learn that people in the home depend on them to complete their chores properly and in a timely fashion.

Image source: www.theparentreport.com
Image source: www.theparentreport.com

9. Children discover the value of cooperation. When large chores, like raking leaves, are shared by the whole family, kids see how integral it is to cooperate with one another.

• For example, two people can rake the leaves and then help each other with bagging them. Then, a third family member can move the bags to the curb.

• Taking part in these “live-action teaching moments” impresses on your kids the value of working cheerfully with one another. Also, it instills the idea that in many instances, cooperation is vital to getting the job done.

10. Introduce children to the world of work. Assigning chores in your home will be your children’s first introduction to working.

• One of the most important things you can do for your kids is to teach them about what it’s like to have a job and have people counting on them to carry it through. Plus, children will learn how to enjoy and look forward to working.

Source: www.easyreadsystem.com
Source: www.easyreadsystem.com

Giving chores to your kids will teach them crucial lessons about life, cooperation, and work. Commit today to consistently assign chores to your children and watch as they reap the benefits now and later.

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Teaching Children to Make Mistakes

Source: Imgur.com
Source: Imgur.com

 

We all learn from our mistakes. Every situation is an opportunity for growth. Obviously there are certain mistakes you want to protect your kids from, such as playing on a busy road or sticking their hand on a hot burner. But in other situations, they’ll learn more if left to discover the consequences themselves.




 

You probably remember a time as a kid when you were corrected by an authority figure and wondered what the big deal was. After all, wouldn’t you have figured out the situation on your own? As a parent, you can learn from this and assess when to step in and when to stand back.

 

Consider these points to help you be more patient and accepting of your children’s mistakes:

 

  1. Children are children. Because of a child’s age, coordination, lack of judgment, or simplified thought processes, kids are not going to be able to perform a task the way a teen or adult can.

    Source: eureka.org.uk
    Source: eureka.org.uk
  2. Children are works in progress. Because children are developing, learning and growing every day, each new day provides them with opportunities for success.

 

  • Children grow and mature at their own speeds. One child may be able to make his own bed when he’s 5 years old, while another will struggle with this at age 7.
  • Depending on the task, a child might be unable to do a job one day, but can do it successfully the next. For this reason, a parent’s patience is required when a child is attempting to complete an assigned job.
  1. Sometimes when children err, they have a natural tendency to want to try again. Because this behavior shows perseverance and great effort, parents can reinforce these positive characteristics by simply allowing them to try the task again.

 

  • Showing that you recognize they want to perform goes a long way toward building your child’s sense of self. Applaud your child’s perseverance in this case and tell him he can try again later.
  1. Learning from trial and error is still learning. If you observe your child trying a task over and over again without frustration, he’s probably learning something on each try.





 

  • Think about your own experiences of trying to tie shoes or learning to ride a bike without training wheels. The more you did it, the better you got at it.
  1. There are other things more important than doing a job “right.” So what if, when your child is done making the bed, the bedspread is crooked? If you consider what matters most, you’ll come up with some characteristics your child demonstrates that you can be proud of.

    Source: rightchoiceforkids.com
    Source: rightchoiceforkids.com
  2. Your child’s self-esteem depends on your reactions. How you react when your child makes a misstep shows him what you think and believe about him.





 

  • When it comes to a child’s self-esteem, allowing him to err at something while at the same time, accepting him the way he is, sends powerful messages of unconditional acceptance and love to your child.
  1. Provide encouragement when your child struggles to perform. Since most tasks have various parts to them, look for the portion of the task that your child did well. Tell him he did a good job on that aspect. Acknowledge the task is difficult and that he’ll eventually catch on and do the whole task well.

    Source: www.easyreadsystem.com
    Source: www.easyreadsystem.com
  2. Avoid generating or expressing strong emotions related to your child’s blunder. It’s wise to remain neutral and objective when speaking to a child about his performance of a task.

 


  • If you find yourself feeling frustration or anger about your child’s mistakes, it’s best to give yourself a “time out.”
  • Later on, it will be helpful to examine within yourself why you’re experiencing such strong, negative feelings about your child’s actions.

Making it okay for your child to err will go a long way toward solidifying his sense of self and building his self-esteem.

 

If you consider and apply these ideas when parenting, you and your child will be more comfortable when they experience errors. Because of your approach, they’ll embrace life with optimism, perseverance and feelings of confidence.

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4 Strategies to Help You Remember Names  

Image Source: www.fabulouslybroke.com
Image source: www.fabulouslybroke.com

Do you find it embarrassing when you’re unable to recall someone’s name – especially when they remember yours?

 

Although some people seem to have an inherent talent for remembering names, we’re not all that fortunate. However, the good news is you can learn this important social skill.

 

Dale Carnegie, long known for his approach to business success, formulated an interesting 3-step method for remembering peoples’ names. Step 4, although not Dale Carnegie’s, will also help.

 

Try these strategies to help you memorize names the first time you meet someone:

 

  1. Immediately start imprinting the person’s name in your mind. Unfortunately, when we first meet someone new, we tend to focus on being polite. However, it’s wise to focus, instead, on the person’s name. Pay close attention to their name and make eye contact with them as you restate it.

 


  • If you don’t catch the name, state something like, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name; could you repeat it?” Then, when they say their name, say it back to them to ensure you get it right, like, “Oh, it’s very nice to meet you, Jane Doe.”
  1. Repeat the name over and over. After you’ve said the name of the person back to them, repeat it to yourself — “Jane Doe, Jane Doe, Jane Doe.”
  • What you’re now doing is applying a basic rule of memory theory – if you want to remember something, repeat it over and over again to impress it into your short-term memory.
  • To solidify the name into your memory bank, repeat it to yourself throughout the day, evening and even the next day. Doing so will help you transfer the information into your long-term memory. Think, “Last night, I met Jane Doe and John Smith.”
  • When you meet up with another friend at the social event, mention, “I just met Jane Doe; she’s the woman with red hair and blue dress over there.” Any type of repetition of the person’s name will help you remember it later.




  1. Connect the name to an image in your mind. This strategy is very powerful. Make a mental picture of the person that will help you remember their name.

    Image source: 180degreehealth.com
    Image source: 180degreehealth.com
  • For example, if the person’s name is Rose Brown, imagine her sitting on a brown horse holding a bouquet of roses. Carnegie stressed that the more elaborate and nonsensical your mental picture, the more likely you are to recall the person’s name.
  • Of course, there will be times whenever the person’s name is not a common object (like Rose) or color (like Brown). During those times, there is all the more reason to visualize a quirky picture that will help you remember the person’s name.
  • For example, if a person’s name is Gloria Armstrong; imagine her singing the hymn, “Gloria” while pumping iron (think “arms strong”). The wackier your mental picture visualizing the person, the more likely it is you’ll remember their name.
  1. Use technology. Use your smartphone’s voice recording app to repeat a person’s name and a brief description of their characteristics.



  • If you don’t have voice recording capability, type in a quick note of the person’s name, where you met him, and some facts about him.

 

Whether you decide to use some or all of these steps to remember names, you’ll increase your ability to recall someone’s name later. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how successfully you recall names of people you’ve only briefly met. Strengthen your memory for names by practicing these simple strategies.

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Renew Fading Friendships

Source : www.precisionvisionutah.com
Source : www.precisionvisionutah.com

 

A function of maturing and making your way through life is that you’ll occasionally leave behind someone you really care about. It might be your best friend from high school, your old neighborhood buddy, a college dorm roommate, or even a past co-worker you connected with.




 

Over time, you may find yourself yearning for another conversation, a lunch out or evening spent with a long-lost friend. But after so much time has passed, how can you renew fading friendships before they disappear completely?

 

Consider these suggestions to re-connect with a friend from your past:

 

  1. Give your friend a call. You might freeze up at the thought of calling because, after all, it has been so long. However, the only way of renewing your friendship is to make contact. Just do it.



  • Tell her you’ve missed her. Mention you’ve been thinking about the fun you had shopping and playing tennis together and that you want to maintain your friendship. Listen to how she feels about the relationship. Inquire about what’s going on in her life.
  1. If you don’t have your friend’s telephone number, call his parents or drive by the last residence where he lived. Knock on the door and inquire of the residents if they know what happened to him. Contact a mutual friend and ask where your old friend is living now or how you might get in contact.
  2. Set up a rotating commitment. Once you contact your friend and discover he wants to continue your friendship, suggest the two of you get together on an ongoing basis to keep your relationship going.
  • For example, meet for dinner every other Wednesday evening. Get together one Saturday a month for lunch. A standing appointment keeps you both looking forward to spending time with one another.
  1. Be willing to make the extra effort. If your friend lives 90 minutes away by car, when you call, say you’d love to drive over and spend some time with him. Show you’re willing to do what’s necessary to see your friend occasionally. Hopefully, your friend will eventually be willing to drive over to see you as well.
  2. Write a letter and send it by snail mail. A hand-written letter shows you put some time and thought into what you wanted to say. Plus, your friend will have a tangible representation of your attempt to contact him, which means he’ll notice your efforts to get in touch.
  • This method is particularly helpful when you don’t have the person’s telephone or cell numbers.
  • Send a letter every other month for 6 months or so and include all your contact information, such as your cell phone number, home phone number, e-mail address, and home address. Doing so will make it easier for your friend to contact you using whatever method he prefers.




  1. Once you’ve established initial contact, use technology to stay connected. Find out from your friend if he uses e-mail and texting. If so, send him an e-mail every few days. If your friend prefers a quick text, use texting to stay in touch.
  2. Consider Facebook. After you’ve made your initial contact, find out if your friend is on Facebook. If so, “friend” him and use Facebook to keep in touch.

It’s a great feeling to discover an old friend wants to renew your relationship. Go ahead and be the one who takes the first steps to rekindle an old friendship. Use these methods to re-connect with that wonderful friend from your past.

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Promote Strong Listening Skills in Your Children

Source : huffingtonpost.com
Source : huffingtonpost.com

 

Being the kind of parent you want to be requires knowledge, consistency, and a sense of confidence. When you truly know that what you’re doing is the right thing, even in the face of conflict you’ll follow through.

 

One important skill to cultivate in your children is listening. Good communication skills will benefit your children in all aspects of their lives – at home, school, work, and in relationships. If your children know how to listen well, they will live a more fulfilling and successful life.




 

Try these strategies to promote strong listening skills in your children:

 

  1. Listen to your children. One of the strongest ways that children learn is through modeling behaviors of their parents.

 

  • When you demonstrate good listening skills in your everyday life in the presence of your kids, they will learn those skills, too. They can see how it’s done by watching you.
  1. Stop doing whatever you’re doing. When you want to communicate with your child, suspend your current activity to focus completely on them. Whether they initiate the conversation or you do, stop what you’re doing so you can concentrate on your interaction.
  2. Make eye contact. In any type of communication, look in the eyes of the person you’re talking to and teach your children to do the same.
  • A subtle and special connection is made when people make eye contact. You can start modeling this behavior to your children when they’re quite young, even before the age of 2 years.
  1. Say your child’s name. When you talk to your children, saying their name will help get their attention and set them up to be ready to listen, just like when someone calls your name, you stop what you’re doing and look at them.



  • Getting your child’s attention by stating his name is an effective way to prepare him to hear what you’re going to say. That focus is necessary to begin to develop listening skills.
  1. Suggest to your child that they sit down. This suggestion sends the message, “Get ready to listen because I’m going to talk.”

 

  • When your child is very young, try leading him to a chair. Then say something like, “I’d like to talk to you for a minute,” which serves as an attention-getter.
  • Once you complete what you wanted to express, be ready to listen to your child’s response.
  1. Spot-check their listening skills. From time to time, ask your child what you just said. You’re trying to determine what your child heard by asking him to paraphrase what you said. When he repeats it properly, praise his efforts.



  • If he doesn’t get it quite right, you have an opportunity to repeat what you said for clarification and to enhance his listening skills.

 

  1. Reinforce a child’s effort to listen, no matter how small. When your child shows the smallest attempt to listen or to even approach listening, it’s smart to reinforce those efforts right away.

 

  • Even with a 2-year-old, you can encourage their listening skills by saying, “Thank you for sitting so quietly while Mommy was talking,” or, “You were really listening to Daddy, thank you.”
  • After a conversation, simple responses, such as smiling while you say, “Great job on listening,” also let your kids know they exhibited the important behavior you were seeking.

 

Promoting your child’s listening abilities is best done in small ways every single day. As a parent, you’re the best role model for teaching your children communication skills. Reward their efforts with smiles and positive comments, and you’re on your way to building their listening skills for a successful future.


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5 Ways to Dress to Impress at Work

Source: show.blogbaker.com
Source: show.blogbaker.com

 

While most bosses won’t check out the labels on your clothes (unless you are have an extremely high-profile job where fashion is everything), the way you dress will likely make an impression on your boss no matter where you work. Looking presentable is important; waking up and throwing on clothes without thinking about what you are wearing won’t score you points. Certain factors — including how your clothes fit, which colors you wear, and how much skin you show — can affect how other people perceive you at work. Neat, presentable work attire can help you move up in your career, or at least keep your job, while consistent inappropriate clothing may negatively affect the way your boss perceives you. Particularly if your company has a dress code (official or not), breaking it can mean bad news for you. Thankfully, you can dress to impress if you follow these five easy steps.


1. Think about your audience

It’s common to hear people say to dress for your day, and this is great advice. Target has been in the news recently for creating a dress for your day atmosphere, which is something that is becoming very popular at many different companies. Dress for your day implies that you should do just that; if you’re sitting at your desk all day and your company allows jeans, then that might be just fine. However, if you have a meeting with an important client or your boss, you might want to dress up in a nice suit, or at least business attire.

Regularly thinking about your audience will show that you care about your job, and that you take it seriously. Many people also say that you should dress for the job you want: this means that even if everyone else in your job class wears jeans and polo shirts, you might want to dress a little nicer.


Source: Thinkstock

2. Be neat

Obviously, if you work at a fast-food restaurant with a required shirt, you won’t have a lot of options besides possibly which black pants you wear. However, you can control how neatly you dress in any situation. Tuck your shirt in, and make sure you wash it regularly. It doesn’t matter if every other person you work with is wearing the same shirt as you; if your shirt is clean and tucked in, and some of your coworkers’ shirts are ripped or dirty, you will be the one looking more presentable.


The above analogy is true for more than just a job at a restaurant. Looking neat and presentable is important for any job. Many workplaces are now encouraging a regular casual dress code; although you may be allowed to wear jeans, that doesn’t mean that you should wear jeans with holes in them. You can be neat no matter what you wear. The same is true for a business suit: a business suit isn’t impressive if it doesn’t look neat and well-maintained.

Source: Thinkstock

3. Look sharp

In addition to dressing neat, you should dress sharp whenever possible. This comes back to the idea of dressing for your day, but you can look sharp even on your relaxed days. You don’t have to spend tons of money to look sharp, either. While fancy name brand clothes make a nice touch, they aren’t always necessary, and for some jobs, they aren’t even appropriate.

One way to dress sharp is to have your own unique style and to maintain it. This doesn’t mean that you should dress so absurd that everyone in your office knows it’s you even without seeing your face, but having a clear personal style is a good thing as long as you are being respectful of your work culture. Avoid tacky additions that take away from your clothing, or focus your coworkers’ attention on your clothing instead of what you are saying (for example, a huge colorful necklace, or a ridiculous tie.) One last way to dress sharp is to keep in mind what is appropriate for the season in which you are working; if it’s winter and thirty degrees, don’t come into work in a sun dress or shorts.


Source: Thinkstock

4. Wear the right size

This seems like it should be the most obvious advice on our list, and yet many workers fail to wear well-fitted, appropriately tailored clothing regularly. Tailoring your clothing is a great way to look sharp at work, but even if you choose not to tailor your clothes, you should still try to find clothing that fits properly. Coming into work with clothing that is too big makes you look lazy, and sometimes gives the impression that you don’t care about your job. On the other hand, wearing clothing that is too tight can distract your coworkers. One study found thatrisque dressing at work is improper for all jobs; managers who dressed in a sexy manner were seen as less intelligent and competent.

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5. Remember the details

Even if you wear clothes that fit and are fashionable, you will undermine all your hard work if you don’t pay attention to details. For women, this often means wearing minimal makeup, and both men and women should brush their hair (if they have longer hair) and wash their face, etc. There are also many items that you should avoid at work, including baseball hats (unless you are having a special team day at work), pajamas, offensive t-shirts, clothes with holes or rips, clothes that show too much skin, and so on.

Also, when possible, think about the colors you are wearing. Many people believe that dark colors make them look more professional, but color can be fun and appropriate if you make careful choices. Red can appear scary or send a bad message, blue can be calming, and other colors send different messages as well.




The most important thing is to make sure that you know the dress code at your work, and to dress appropriately for whatever you have going on during a particular day. If you want to go further than that, be sure to look sharp, and if possible, dress for the job you want instead of the one you have.

Originally posted on www.cheatsheet.com

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4 Signs That Someone Is Insecure

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Source: Dean Drobot/Shutterstock

You’re with someone you’ve just met, and within seconds you feel that there’s something wrong with you.

Up until meeting this person, you were having a pretty good day, but now you’re starting to question everything from the way you look to the accomplishments you’ve racked up over your life so far. Let’s say the person is the mother of one of your children’s playmates. Not only does she seem perfectly outfitted, but in simply introducing herself, she’s made it clear that she’s got an important job and a perfect family life, and that she associates with all the right people.

It’s easy to get thrown into a personal purgatory of self-doubt in these situations. Whether it’s a social contact or a business interaction,  people who want everyone to know how big they are can make the rest of us feel pretty small. Just think how much better you’d feel if you could brush these situations aside and go on about your day without doubting yourself and your life.

It turns out that armed with a simple set of detection tools, you can not only help yourself feel better, but also recognize the weaknesses in the façade of those practically perfect people.

The psychology behind this process stems from the theory of the Viennese psychoanalyst Alfred Adler, who coined the term inferiority complex.

According to Adler, people who feel inferior go about their days overcompensating through what he called “striving for superiority.” The only way these inwardly uncertain people can feel happy is by making others decidedly unhappy. To Adler, this striving for superiority lies at the core of neurosis.

We now think of this striving for superiority as a feature of narcissistic personality disorder, that deviation in normal development that results in a person’s constant search to boost self-esteem. The two kinds of narcissists are the grandiose (who feel super-entitled) and the vulnerable (who, underneath the bravado, feel weak and helpless). Some may argue that at their core, both types of narcissists have a weak sense of self-esteem, but the grandiose narcissist may just be better at the cover-up. In either case, when you’re dealing with someone who’s making you feel inferior, there’s a good chance that narcissism is the culprit.

Narcissism doesn’t always reach pathological levels, but it can characterize people to more or less of a degree. Using the concepts of “overt” and “covert” narcissism instead of grandiose and vulnerable, some personality researchers believe that they can learn more about the type of narcissism you might spot in everyday life. University of Derby (U.K.) psychologist James Brookes (2015) decided to investigate the way that people high on these tendencies actually feel about themselves both in terms of self-esteem and self-efficacy, or one’s confidence in their ability to succeed.

Using a sample of undergraduates—an important point to keep in mind—Brookes analyzed the relationships among overt and covert narcissism, self-esteem, and self-efficacy. The two forms of narcissism were not related to each other, supporting the idea that these two subtypes have some validity. Examining which were more related to self-esteem, Brookes found that those high on overt narcissism in fact had higher self-esteem: Their need to feel “special” seemed to play the most important role for these self-aggrandizing individuals. Covert narcissists, for their part, had lower self-esteem scores.

Looking at self-efficacy, or the feeling that you can reach your desired goals, the overt narcissists also won the day, compared to their more hypersensitive and insecure counterparts. In particular, for overt narcissists, the need to have power over others seemed to give them the sense that they could accomplish anything.

The Brookes study provides some clues, then, into what makes up the narcissisticpersonality. It can also offer insight into the ways you can interpret the actions of narcissistic friends, coworkers, or partners through examining their insecurities:

  1. The insecure person tries to make you feel insecure yourself.
    When you start to question your own self-worth, is it typically around a specific person or type of person? Is that individual always broadcasting his or her strengths? If you don’t feel insecure in general, but only around certain people, it’s likely they’re projecting their insecurities onto you.
  2. The insecure person needs to showcase his or her accomplishments.
    You don’t necessarily have to feel insecure around someone to conclude that inferiority is at the heart of their behavior. People who are constantly bragging about their great lifestyle, their elite education, or their fantastic children may very well be doing so to convince themselves that they really do have worth.
  3. The insecure person drops the “humble brag” far too often.
    The humble brag is a brag disguised as a self-derogatory statement. You’ve all seen these on Facebook, when an acquaintance complains about all the travel she has to take (due to the importance of her job), or all the time he has to spend watching his kids play (and, by the way, win) hockey games. (The “Facebook gloat” is a bold-faced brag which is easier to spot but may very well have the same roots.)
  4. The insecure person frequently complains that things aren’t good enough.
    People high in inferiority like to show what high standards they have. You may label them as snobs, but as much as you realize they’re putting on an act, it may be hard to shake the feeling that they really are better than you. What they’re trying to do, you may rightly suspect, is to proclaim their high standards as a way of asserting that not only are they better than everyone else, but that they hold themselves to a more rigorous set of self-assessment criteria.

Returning to the Brookes study, there can be aspects of overt narcissism that actually do work in helping the insecure feel more confident in their abilities. However, this comes at the price of making everyone else feel less confident. I wouldn’t recommend bolstering your sense of self-efficacy by putting down everyone else.

To sum up: Being able to detect insecurity in the people around you can help you shake off the self-doubts that some people seem to enjoy fostering in you. Taking the high road, and not giving in to these self-doubts, may also help you foster feelings of fulfillment both in yourself, and in the insecure people you know and care about.

Reference

Brookes, J. (2015). The effect of overt and covert narcissism on self-esteem and self-efficacy beyond self-esteem. Personality And Individual Differences, 85172-175. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2015.05.013

Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne 2015

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